#i hate this. i hate not knowing if im under or overreacting

[aceys]

>.>

[f1boistrash]

i have a name | l.s

a/n: so this is an idea i had after the miami gp and its been stuck in my head so im finally writing it. there is some slight jos slander and reader is max's sister

summary: y/n verstappen drives for f1 academy. they find comfort in a certain american when the media gets too much

Your whole life you've always been Max's sister. You didn't hate your brother for it because it wasn't his fault. You hated the world for being so small minded. You hated your dad for not caring. His words stuck in your head like a broken record. 'You're overreacting Y/N. It's not a big deal. You need to grow up.'

But it was a big deal because why couldn't they be bothered to learn your name. Your accomplishments throughout your career always amounted to 'Max's sister' it was never 'Y/N Verstappen'. You were sure if they could your trophies would say that too.

Going into the F1 Academy you thought it'd be different. You were excited when you got the call. The first person you told was Max and he was even more excited than you, if that was even possible. You were at the forefront of the series, watching young girls across the world become interested in the sport you loved. Something you wished you had growing up.

The driving was great. The team was great. Everything was great except the media. Its the one thing you dreaded stepping into the spotlight more. You tried to develop a thick skin like your brother but it was difficult when you constantly got picked at.

"So, Y/N, great day today. You qualified third. How was it?" The interviewer asked.

"Yeah it was great. Obviously we'd prefer P1 but we're still happy with the result and looking forward to pushing it even more tomorrow." You replied, grinning at your result. It might not be front of the grid but you were still proud.

"Your brother Max had a phenomenal season last year. Can we expect the same this year?" And there it was. Your first interview of the weekend and it only took one question before they asked you about your brother. Normally you didn't mind talking about Max's accomplishments. You were so unbelievably proud of him. It's when they start talking about him when they should be asking you about your race and your season that you get annoyed.

You plastered on your fake smile, hoping no one saw the disappointment flash across your face. "It's hard to say what this year will bring but what I do know is that Max will give it his everything. Whatever happens though I'm still proud of him."

Before anymore questions about Max could be asked your manager made a sign that time was up. You thanked the interviewer and left the media pen. She gave you a run down of tomorrows schedule as you were now finished for the day. Your manager didn't need to ask if you were okay because she knew you weren't. Working with you for a few years meant she had learnt all your tells.

You thanked her for today before parting ways, leaving you alone. The night air was brisk but welcoming. You shut your eyes and sighed enjoying the silence. You were supposed to be meeting Max tonight yet you couldn't bring yourself to move. Not wanting to face him just yet.

It was late and you weren't expecting many people left at the grid. Especially the F1 drivers which was why you jumped when a voice broke the silence. "Y/N right?" Logan said, your stomach fluttered when you looked at him. You have never really spoken to Logan before, only seeing him in passing but you always thought he was cute. He also called you by your name and not 'Max's sister' which was a welcomed surprise, used to his friends calling you that. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine, just wasn't expecting anyone to be left at the track." You told him. You took in his appearance under the setting sun. He was in his Williams uniform, his hair slightly tousled from wearing his hat all day.

"Yeah, I was just heading out. Had to do a few tweaks before tomorrow. What are you doing here late?" He asked.

"Media." You grimaced. Logan laughed, understanding your reaction.

"That bad huh?"

"Yep." You nodded. "Talked about Max the whole time."

The two of slowly started walking towards the car you have rented this weekend. It was one of the few left in the parking lot. "Seriously? That's so shit." Logan said, shaking his head. It wasn't out of pity though, more like anger.

"You get used to it." You shrugged.

"You shouldn't have to though." He told you, pulling you both to a stop. His eyes, looking at you intensely making you nervous. "You were incredible out there today and I'll definitely be watching tomorrow as you get your first podium of the season."

"Wait, you watched qualifying?" You asked, surprised.

"Don't tell my trainer though." Logan grinned, winking at you making you laugh. It was a sound he could get used to.

"Well thank you Logan. It means a lot." You thanked him, coming to a stop when you reached the drivers seat door.

"You have a name, Y/N. Your not just Max Verstappen's sister and I hope you know that." He said, earnestly.

You don't know what came over you but you found yourself leaning up, pressing a kiss on Logan's cheek. "Thank you."

-x-

"You're late." Was all Max said as you walked through your hotel room door. You kicked off your shoes, walking further into the room seeing your brother lying on your freshly made bed scrolling on his phone.

"Don't you have a sim race or something?" You asked, shoving his feet off your bed trying to change the subject because what else can you say? The reason you were late was the slight breakdown you had about the interview and then you bumped into Logan. You couldn't exactly tell Max that.

He playfully stuck his middle finger up at you, knowing you were making fun of him. "How was your day anyway? Excited for tomorrow?"

"Yeah it was good." You lied. You liked that Max was oblivious sometimes because it meant you didn't have to talk about what people said about you. However, you also hated his obliviousness because sometimes you wanted your brother to comfort you. "Hopefully people won't get sick of the Dutch national anthem." You grinned at Max who laughed loudly.

You asked Max about his day and he told you about how confident he was with this years car, excited to see what he can get out of it. He carried on talking as you got out of your team uniform and into some comfy clothes when he quietened down.

"When were you going to tell me?" Max asked when you exited the bathroom. "About what the interviewer said?"

"It's fine Max." You said, avoiding his gaze on you by putting your clothes away. You were afraid if you looked at him the dam would break.

"It's not fine, Y/N." He huffed, his voice raising out of anger. It wasn't aimed at you though, Max would never raise his voice at you. "It was so unprofessional. Not to mention the commentators today couldn't even be bothered to learn your name. I'm going to do something about it."

Max's reaction reminded you of Logan's. You didn't think anyone would care this much. Especially someone who you never really had a conversation with before. You knew it was pointless to ask Max to leave it alone so you didn't bother. "Just please don't do anything stupid."

"When have I ever done that?" Max asked and you laughed. You would run out of fingers if you counted all the times Max did something stupid.

It was getting late and you and Max said your goodbyes, leaving you alone once again with your thoughts. Instead of the video on repeat in your head it was Logan's words. You reached over for your phone and unlocked it, going straight to instagram to find Logan's profile. You hit follow before going to his dms.

Y/N:

Thank you again for tonight.

His response was quick making your stomach flutter.

Logan:

You don't need to keep thanking me Y/N

Y/N:

I know

I enjoyed talking to you tonight

So thank you for your company 😊

Logan:

I enjoyed talking to you too 😊

I hope we can do it again some time

You were sure you were grinning like an idiot but you didn't care. You had fallen for the American and hard.

Y/N:

I would love to ☺️

Good luck for tomorrow Logan 💙

Logan:

Good luck Y/N 😊

[yeokii]

# arguments w enha hyung line !! — part two (maknae line ver)

₊﹒ wc! 0.9k

₊﹒warnings! fighting, angst

₊﹒note! ty to my dookie @redm4ri for helping me with the members (im crying) luv ya my dooks

# lee heeseung

"It's not what you think," Heeseung pleaded, irritation visible on his face.

In his head, he thought he was right. But, boy, was he off. Both you and he went to a gathering, but he had ignored you the entire day and spent time with his best friend. You trusted Heeseung with your entire heart, and seeing him do this broke your heart into little pieces.

"She came back from the states two days ago, yn," He tried to reason, "I haven't seen her in four years, for fuck's sake."

"That is no excuse for you to ignore me, Hee," you sternly said.

"God, yn! Why can't you get it in your fucking brain? She and I are fucking friends!" He scoffed, frustrated as he brushed his hair back with his hands.

"Do you think I'm stupid? She looked like she wanted to kiss you! Are you kidding me?" It was your turn to scoff.

The tension thickened as hateful words spewed from each side.

"God, yn, why are you overreacting?" He asked, annoyed. "Stop being a fucking child; she's like a sister to me."

"Do you realize she spent more time with me? Of course, I'd miss her."

"Alright, if you miss her that much, feel free to go to her. I don't give two fucks anymore." And with that, you took your jacket once again and left the apartment.

₊﹒other members under the cut !!

# park jongseong

11:34.

The clock read.

He wasn't home yet.

Your worry grew more with every minute passing. The fact that Jay wouldn't pick up the thousands of your calls. You were a nervous wreck. You couldn't sleep at all. He was never late.

The door opened, finally.

In came a tired jay, his eyes worn out and his hair all ruffled up, his tie loose.

He took one look at you and his eyes automatically rolled.

"What the fuck Jay?" You spoke.

"God, please." He said. "Not now, yn. Im too fucking tired to hear your lectures."

"Jay?" You were astonished by his behaviour. He never spoke like this which took you off guard.

"Why are you speaking like that to me?" You asked, your heart heavy. "I was so worried about you, I called you a hundred times."

"God, I just don't wanna deal with this right now. I had a long day at work. " He massaged his temples as he started to head for the bedroom.

"You could've told me you were coming late."

"Stop being a fucking baby and stop being clingy. I'm a grown ass man. Your not my fucking mother."

You had nothing left to say. You gave him a stern look as your worried expression vanished. You headed to the bedroom and slammed the door not wanting to hear anymore out of your so called boyfriend's mouth.

# sim jaeyun

"Baby, can you please tell me what's wrong?" Your boyfriend pleaded due to the silent treatment you were giving.

You ignored him as usual, continuing to do the dishes.

"I would know whats wrong if you would tell me about it." His eyes holding a desperate plea.

You looked at him with disbelief written all over your face.

"How could you forget Jake?" You asked him, your voice sounding like a slight whisper.

"What?" He uttered with confusion.

"I waited for you all day last night. How could you forget?" You held back tears that threatened to spill out of your eyes.

"Forget what baby?" His eyes searched for some sort of answer from your face.

"Our anniversary Jake."

His eyes widened, as a wave of shock washed over him.

"I'm so sorry baby, It must've slipped out of my mind I-"

"It was raining Jake. I couldn't go outside because it was raining. I had to sit there at our date waiting for you to come. I had to go back home in the rain, Jake." You let out a sob. The familiar emotion of humility emerging over you.

"Yn, I'll make it up to you. It's not a big deal."

"It is, you asshole." You looked at him, tears leaving your eyes nonstop and you left the kitchen.

# park sunghoon

"Hoon please stop." You let out a mutter to your boyfriend, slightly tugging onto his hoodie.

You both were out with your friends and you and Sunghoon were having a good time until him and your friends started joking a little too much about you that made you uncomfortable.

"What? We're just having fun." He shrugged it off, laughing.

"No Hoon. I don't feel comfortable." A rush of insecurity roamed through you.

You tugged onto Sunghoon more which showed a bit of irritation on his face.

"God yn, learn how to take a joke." He said, a frown showing on his face.

"Please, I don't like when you talk about me like that infront of my friends."

"It's just a joke, babe."

"It's not Hoon." You sternly said.

"God! Stop being a fucking baby!" He yelled at you infront of your friends.

"Oh my god! Did yn's boyfriend just yell at her? Yikes.." One of your friends told the girl next to her.

You looked around and then back at Sunghoon. Shame washed all over you. You felt so humiliated, tears started to fall out of your eyes. Everyone's eyes were on you. You felt so isolated and outnumbered.

"I'm leaving." You told Sunghoon and with that you left.

perm taglist!! @flwoie @zuyairus @bubblytaetae @yenqa @haknom

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Okay, I can't be the only one, who thinks it's kinda ridiculous how people hate Lilith right?

And I think it's even more hypocritical of people to hate Lilith but love Lucifer/Alastor/Adam

Now- I'm not saying you can't dislike a character, no....but we've seen this women ONCE, not counting the story/flashback

And frankly, I don't think she's done anything worthy of, you know, being hated as much as she is

"She took Charlie form lucifer" the fuck she did, im 90% sure that Charlie snuck out of bed and went to find Luci and Lilith(if it was Lilith) jsut went 'no- no. You're supposed to be asleep'

There was no clear context that Charlie was being taken away form Lucifer- not to mention even-

Okay, let's say that they did divorce, which I'm not even sure if they did, and Lilith took Charlie to live with her

She CLEARLY did not keep Charlie AWAY from Luci, we see portraits/pictures of Charlie as a kid young adult, teenager, etc, in her dad's office/home

We even see family portraits with her as a kid and teen/young adult, so the divorce was also probably not until she was already fully grown

Keep in mind, Chalrie is canonically 200 years old, or older, this divorce could've been when she was, like, 180 she probably wasn't a kid when the separated

So even if she was taking Charlie away in that scene, it clearly was not forever and honestly doesn't seem possible with the timeline

"She abandoned charlie" so did....Lucifer??

Like, she mentions him not contacting her for a long time, the one phone call she DOES get from him is about a meeting, not exactly a meaningful conversation

And if he became like this after the 'divorce', then unless lilith divorced him and then left. That probably means Charlie hasn't had a meaningful talk with her dad for longer than 7 years

Or even seen him, I forget if Charlie says that 'this is the first time I'm seeing him in years' or smth

Not to mention Charlie clearly still loves her and views her in a positive light

"Shes in heaven" Okay....we don't know why tho??

I mean, personally, I like to think she's planning war crimes against heaven and is using whatever deal she and Adam had as a cover up

But we don't know the reason, it could be a good one! it could be a shitty one! We don't know!!

We know, like, 4 things about this women and people are already hating her, and I just don't get it

Like why?? What's the reason??

And maybe im overreacting or yall havnt seen the same fans/thing I have

But I've seen people say they hate Lilith but love Lucifer, I've seen people paint her in a bad light to either have a villian/antagonist or to show Adam in a better light, or to victomize/pity Alastor

And I just don't get it, how is she worse then Alastor or Lucifer here?

Which, even if she does own Al's soul, I don't think it'd be a big deal?? Like....Alastor owns souls to, and Lilith isn't abusing her power over him(unlike Al with Husk), I think if she did own his soul, she would've stoped him from suggesting a deal/favor to Charlie

I can't be the only one who thinks like this either right?

i also personally dont want her to be a villian and i also dont want sera to be a villian either; Lute is a good enough villian

Sera ALSO gets hate, which I don't really get. Like this women is trying her best to run heaven by herself and make sure nobody dies under her care

Like this, women clearly has truama/ptsd, just as lucifer does about his falling. And for the exterminations to be fair, if I was told a bunch of rapists and serial killers were coming to my house, I'd grab the gun too!!

Doesn't mean all sinners are like that, I'm sure a lot are in hell for minor crimes, but heaven doesn't know that!

Cut her some slack man, I doubt she's had a nap in 4+ billion years

Also this isn't hate on any of the characters, I absolutely love lucifer, I just think that people needa stop painting lilith and/or sera to be the bad guy

[chaostudee]

kiss me more ; rafe cameron

pairing : rafe cameron x female reader summary : you and rafe are in a secret relationship. words : 1.6k warnings : none? a/n : im down so bad for this man it is not even okay at this point tbh. btw this is rly rushed so ye excuse the spelling.

at first you didn't mind. sure at times the sneaking around could be fun and yeah those stolen glances across the room made your heart race. although you were satisfied with your relationship with rafe you craved more.

you wanted him to kiss you in front of your friends. you wanted him to introduce you as his girlfriend. you wanted to meet his parents. you wanted it all.

yet there was an underlying issue. nobody would be surrportive of your relationship with you being a pogue and him being a kook. along with that John b( your brother) would never forgive you considering what rafe hade put him through.

you could understand your brothers hatred towards him but rafe had changed, for the better. he had promised that he would be better for you and he had kept that promise.

"hey pretty girl" rafe rasps as he pulls you closer to him, his hands held firmly on your hips and with that placing a kiss upon your forehead.

you cherished the mornings spent with rafe. it was the only time you could truly be intimate with one another without the pressure of hiding your love for one another.

"hey baby" you whisper tracing your finger up his chest. he smiled down at you his hands combing through your morning hair.

"you look so beautiful"

"shut uppp". secretly you liked the attention and rafe knew this but he'd never adress it.

"never".

you roll over,, pulling from his grasp to check the time. you had a miny panick attack when you remembered that you were due at work in less than an hour.

"shit shit shit" you murmur quickly sitting up and swinging your legs out of bed.

rafe groans when he feels your presence leave his grasp. "baby whats wrong?" he asks, sitting up when he sees you pacing the room looking for your shoes.

"im going to be late for work.....do you know where my shoes are?".

"baby just call in sick please come back to bed".

you scoff. rafe had been given everything to him. he never worked a day in his life. it annoyed you at times that he didn't understand that you came from different backgrounds.

"i have to go in today, you know some people don't leave off there dad's money". you muttered your words but someone rafe still heard them.

it hurt like hell to hear those words, especially from you. he knew that money wasn't something that you took for granted on the cut.

you pick up your shoes from under the bed and sit down on a nearby chair to slip them on.

"your right i'm sorry". rafe is leaning on one elbow on the bed his body facing towards you. god he looked good. but that wouldn't distract you from your values.

when he doesn't get a response to his apology rafe takes it upon himself to get out of the bed and walk over to you. just as he was about to kneel to meet your height on the chair you get up heading towards to door.

"wait y/n please".

you pause at the entryway and look back at him.

he walks over to you, placing his hands on your arms.

"im sorry my love, please forgive me because i cant spend the rest of the day knowing that you hate me"

"i dont hate you" you whisper.

"Okay....."

"im sorry too i maybe overreacted"

rafe displays a small smile.

"so i'm forgiven?"

you roll your eyes but can't help but smile back at your beautiful boy.

"i guess" you say sarcastically.

"kiss me" he instructs.

you step onto your tiptoes before planting a soft kiss on his lips. you pull back but his hand takes your waist and pulls you back to his lips.

"Rafe-"

he cuts you off with another forceful kiss.

"I gotta-"

rafe pulls back planting one more kiss on your cheek before letting you leave.

"see you tonight yeah?"

"yeah of course".

"do you want me to pick you up"

"rafe...."

"oh yeah sorry...."

"it's okay baby i appreciate the gesture"

"y/n i don't know if-

"what?"

"nothing nevermind"

"love you!" he calls after you.

"ditto".

you can't stop yourself from smiling to yourself. how did you get this lucky. but then you were brought back to reality. nobody knew that he was yours.

:::

you wanted nothing more than to be held in his arms right now. you wanted his jacket around yor shoulders, you wanted his hand caressing yours but all you got were stolen glances and small smiles.

you had only been here an hour but it was becoming torture. even sarah sensed there was something up with you

"hey you okay?" she asks giving you a nudge bringing your attention away from him.

you nod nervously, drumming your fingers on the beer bottle.

"really? you know you can tell me anything right?"

"i'm sure" you say more confidently this time.

she clicks her tongue and opens her mouth as if she is about to say something but she is stopped when she hears a scream to her left.

you both look over in the direction to find someone had gotten into a fight. everyone at the party had begun to gather around causing you and sarah to do the same.

you gasped when you saw two familiar faces. rafe stood with his fists bared with john b reciprocating his stance. your brother took the first punch but rafe was too late to swerve and john b's fist collided with his jaw.

you shuddered. rafe lunged at john b, pushing him down to the ground.

"don't you ever speak about y/n like that again".

at the mention of your name your heart clenches. you didn't want to be the cause of this.

before you knew what you were doing you ran up to john b just as he was about to get another punch at rafe.

john b immediatley steps back when he sees you. you have anything to say to him. not now anyways. turning away you look up at rafe. god he still looked gorgeous even with a bloody nose.

now suddenly aware that everyone was watching you took rafes hand and pulled him through the crowd. you walk past a confused sarah and an even more confused jj. pope and kiara gave you knowing grins.

you halt to a stop when you are out of earhsot of everybody else.

"i'm so sorry baby" you whisper as you trace your down the back of his neck.

"for what?" rafe asks carressing your cheek. you pull his hand away.

you gesture to his nose and then his bloody wrist.

"baby no that's not your fault" rafe reassures you as he takes your hand in his.

"so that fight was nothing to do with me?".

rafe sighs and runs his hand across his face.

"fuck y/n i couldn't just let him say those things about you"

you gulp. ".....what did he say?".

"y/n....."

"rafe tell me".

he sighs. "he said that you were nothing but a burden to him and that you acted like a slut-"

he stops talking when he sees a tear fall on yoir cheek. god it broke him to see you like this.

"baby no please don't cry he was drunk he didn't mean it".

you laugh. "john b always means what he says".

god you hated him. you know what fuck this you thought.

you gesture to rafe to follow you. he does.

the boneyard is near empty except for the pogues. rafe is hesitant in following you when he sees john b stand up at your arrival.

you glare at your brother but don't speak until rafe is stood beside you. you look up at him and smile, slipping your fingers through his as you do.

sarah gasps and then jj and both point at you and then one another.

john b scoffs. "are you being so for real y/n, this kook, i don't approve".

rafe's grip tightens around your hand but you put a hand on his chest to sooth him.

"let me handle this" you whisper to him.

he was reluctent in obeying but when those eyes made him somehow nod in response.

"i don't give a fuck if you don't approve john b, i never asked for your approval, all i ask is that you respect my decision and that you respect rafe".

"GET IT IG" kiara shouts and you give her a wink.

"oh fuck this" john b says in response before turning to walk the other way. you know he had been depressed lately because of your dad but that gave him no right.

"did you just win that fight?" pope asks.

"i think you did babes" rafe says and he smiles. he smiles so wide that you can't stop yourself from smiling back.

for now this was enough. john b knew and the pogues knew and it wouldn't be lomg before eveeybody knew.

"kiss me" you tell him.

he hesitates knowing that there are people nearby.

"KISS HER" jj and sarah say. they were definetly now your no.1 shippers.

at that rafe did exactly just that. you pulled you close and set his lips on yours. the kiss was lustful and slow and you wanted to stay like this forever. it was like it was just the two of you on that beach. but you were glad it wasn't. you wanted everybody to know that he was yours and you were his.

pulling away rafe kisses your forehead before resting his head against your own.

"you okay?".

"never been better".

[thecluelessdoctor]

Oh God me being this stressed over a little thing is making me feel even more sick oh fuckkkk

oh my god. My friend fucking sent Clownsuu a ask-request sorta deal, and somehow didn't see the fact he ISNT TAKING REQUESTS JESUS F A K. I'm absolutely doomed now. They did use Anon but like s t I l l

It's embarrassing as shit, even more so if it's actual answered holy FAK.

I like staying in the Shadows?!? Being noticed by someone I really look up to would be great and all, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY???? it's embarrassing number one, and number two, it's just w h y ;-;

Dw my friend got beat with a sketchbook for his stupidity.

I hope that Clownsuu just never sees it because Ehehehe, I would not be able to take that :D because even though the anon wasn't me, stuff like that puts people into a bad light I guess and that is like- horrifying. I much rather be unseen than be disliked when it comes to people I admire. Actually, just people in general! I just- AAAAAAAA *goes to die in a hole.*

[schizosupport]

Not asking for medical advice, just commiseration really I guess? Yesterday I came out of my 4th ever psychiatrist appointment having been taken off my meds (which I did ask for) and then summarily dismissed because he'd decided, since our last appointment was in february, that everything I'd experienced was not persistent/consistent and therefore not worth digging into or attempting further diagnosis. He didn't ask me any questions about any of my delusions or psychotic episodes before coming to that conclusion and referring to everything in the past tense, and i even brought up that me and my psychologist, who I employ privately, have been going through the ease scale and I flag up sooooo maaaaany red flags for disorganised thought relating specifically to the prodrome of schizophrenia, and I'm finding it so hard to even think in a straight line, could you please ask me more questions interview-style so we can dig more into it because it's not past tense but I don't know what to tell you about because its getting harder and harder to tell what's normal and what's just normal for me. And he just didn't want to know. I said I really really need some kind of psychotic feature on my notes because every time I go into a+e actively having an episode, I get bounced because they think im overreacting or just having "emotional dysregulation" because during covid an unqualified physician put "borderline traits" on my sheet and now that's all anyone ever looks at, despite it being inaccurate. And he got very frustrated with me for insisting because he considers his office to be totally separate from all the other hospital features, which I get, but why not do me a bloody favour and just make it that much easier to get proper care when I need it? But he doesn't think I have been having psychotic episodes, I think because I was calm and collected in the appt rather than dishevelled and visibly frightened. He considers everything to fall under obsessions and excessive rumination when it's just not the case. I feel so immensely let down and scared for the future. I'm really worried about whatll happen if I get really bad again. I've lost my job again because I was so paranoid and afraid I just stopped going in, and he doesn't consider that fear or paranoia to be disabling enough to even call out of his office and get support for a fit note so I can stay out of work. I hate hate hate the country I live in.

Man, I'm so sorry you were dismissed like that, especially when it has material bad consequences for you, like not getting the right care in other sectors. I despise when psychiatrista refuse to accept that their diagnoses or lack thereof inevitably WILL have consequences on people's lives outside their office.

Also the idea that one can accurately assess anyone without following some kind of semi structured interview to avoid interviewer bias is so arrogant. He's not special. That's not a recommendation because other psychs just suck and can't be "objective like him"... How frustrating. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[starseverance]

sorry i hope you dont mind that i rant for a moment, i try not to complain about antis too much because i feel like id be no better than them to do so. be the bigger person, as they say.

but. i cant lie that it is so annoying at the amount ive seen lately, and is it just me or are they extremely dramatic? one of my favorite artists that i look up to made a post about how they found out one of their friends wer proship, and word for word said "it made me feel nauseous, my heart stopped and i was sent into tears." like maybe its just me but that is so overdramatic, it made me lose some respect for them.

another example was this silly drawing of killugon (two fictional children, literal lines on a screen) and someone said they were terrified. that "seeing such sickening pedophilic content being so readily available online makes me want to throw up." like they?? were just under mistletoe in the pic??

i dunno ive just. its become hard to enjoy anything on the internet anymore because it seems like theres more and more people like that coming out to say nonsensical, empty-minded, overreactive things.

sorry for ranting in your inbox, i just dont have any friends im able to talk to about this hgfhg,, if this kind of ask isnt wanted just let me know. i hope youre doing well!

Hi hi Anon! I don't mind you ranting at all, and I think it's perfectly reasonable to complain about things like this.

I think that the reaction of that artist to their friend being proship speaks to the anti mentality. I'm not the person to go all into how cult-like antis are, but I'll say that it's really awful how these (misguided) beliefs end up mattering more than friendships.

The part that really gets me is the need to be performative about it, the need to loudly declare "I am disgusted by this bad thing! This thing is bad and must be destroyed! I am a good person!" Sometimes this need to assert moral superiority is personal, sometimes it's because they don't want to be ostracized by their group; but either way, I agree that it gets annoying.

I'm sorry that this is making it harder for you to enjoy being online. It's a shame that the loudest people tend to be the most hateful ones. I can only hope that some of these people eventually mature enough to (at the very least) let other people enjoy things.

[regulusstarz]

Luciane!! I love her! best girl behavior

Interested (if you're willing) in hearing more about the family dynamic pre and post-marigold? any type of bond with shiloh?

(Sorry im on anon i get nervous 😔)

Don't worry, i can understand being nervous!! I deeply appreciate the ask anyways <3

I don't quite know about pre-Marigold because I'd basically just be talking about her childhood. BUT i can tell you: Luciane doesn't have contact nor does she care for her biological mother. She wants nothing to do with her and her mother is on the same side. That's why Luciane has always clinged to her father so much. She craved love that would usually be given by 2 people from a single person, but Lynn was able to manage it, which made her adore him even further.

Ill describe the different steps of post-Marigold. (Kinda sounds like we're talking about an apocalypse, haha)

Early beginning: Luciane was already a little weirded out when Marigold and her father started talking more than Lynn did with any other teacher. She was still pretty okay with it, it's good that her father was finally making some friends!

When they DID started dating, it was around the time where Luciane had begun closing herself off from majority of the people in her life and hanging around her friends more.

Somewhat middle: Luciane absolutely HATED Marigold. It's basically a pretty drastic change very quickly, and she does overreact as a teenager. She thought that Marigold will start taking Lynn's time all to herself, worst of all maybe even trying to be a mother to Luciane. Marigold Ofcourse did try to be nice and get along with Luce, but im pretty sure it's obvious how good that goes.

A year later, The two get married. Luciane's hate mellows out a bit. She's had time to get used to Marigold and she could tell Lynn really loved his wife. But that didn't really stop her from ranting to her father about his own wife (please help him he is under DISTRESS). But yay to the other teachers, because Luciane actually listens to Marigold! Somewhat atleast. So if Lynn is not available, they'll call up Marigold instead. Even though the success of that heavily depends on Luciane's mood that day.

When she's around 17, close to finishing school, she accepts Marigold. She's still a bit akward around her, but does wish to see her as her mother in some way. They still have a LOT to go through, but atleast Lynn doesn't have to pray anymore anytime Luciane comes into his office.

I mostly went into Luciane's feelings, haha. But for some insight on the parents: im sure both of them were upset to some degree over Luciane not accepting her mother. And Lynn was definitely under stress during that time.

I hope that explained some things!!

So, when Shiloh still went to SSB, Luciane was still around 5-6 years old. So they didn't really have a reason to interact with one another.

BUT, they do interact when Shiloh is an adult! Im gonna do 2 versions of him.

- shy : this is the version that gets along the most with Luciane, because they both greatly benefit from eachother. Shy can post about Luciane (mostly just reffered to as "little sister", and barely ever is a picture shown. Even then the face is blurred out), giving him more people that like and follow him. In return, Shiloh can take her out to go shopping and generally buy her stuff, Which obviously Luciane enjoys greatly. Lynn takes Luciane to see him during summer break and occasionally during the holidays, if they're not too busy.

- "normal Shiloh" (acts the same way he did in high school): Luciane feels pretty akward around him. She can't really tell wether or not he should have value to her, and she can tell that majority of what he says is not what he thinks. She mostly just does her best to avoid him.

Luciane can handle the asshole versions of shiloh better than the normal ones, haha.

Though the relationship does change when Luciane isn't a teenager anymore. She gets more busy with her life, so she doesn't have a lot of time for Shy, but they do stay in contact. Multiple years of benefiting each other can make you close, no?

With "normal" shiloh, it most likely stays the same. She's not as akward around him, but still has better things to do than talk with him.

_

It was a pretty long talk, but i sincerely enjoy speaking about Her! As i said, I've been working on her lore for MONTHS, so i have quite a bit to say. I really enjoyed it tho, thank you for the ask <3

[lorriiraine]

Little life / fandom update

Pretty quiet here…. And I need to talk to you all.

I feel exhausted.

I don’t have motivation left to write or to edit. Or to take photos in HL. And the reason is just as stupid as it’s sad.

I won’t say any names nor detailed situation since I am so over this sick thing and don’t want to flame up the whole case again, for my own wellbeing.

Back in June something happened that shattered my trust. I got pushed between two sides I never wanted to be between in. I got asked for my opinions and got blamed for them. Chats were shared around, asking others for their opinion in combination with talking bad about them. Which is a very bitchy and toxic move, pulling more and more people into the situation and childish fight.

I trusted and it got shattered. I just wanted to stay in my tiny bubble, share my MCs and their stories, get to know other people MCs and wanted to be happy. But it all got smashed by the feeling that people want to crush you, stomp you out. If you think I’m overreacting, spent some hours in my head and with my thoughts. Walk in my shoes and you will see what I mean.

Anyway.

I don’t want to accept that my journey here is over so quickly. Also I don’t want to leave. But I feel like opening the game and creating content has became a burden to me right now. Also to write my fanfictions that I loved so so much.

I can’t stay in contact with friends, got myself completely into the shadows and disappeared from discord, TikTok and Instagram. And here I am also more like a shadow.

Around me was just hate, victim blaming and back-talking. And it affected me completely, made my bubble explode. I didn’t felt save anymore, just trusted my closest friends and got sceptical by everyone who contacted me in that period for the first time. I just wanted to have peace and got pulled between argumentations and problems I never wanted to be part of. Got blamed for my honest opinions that were wanted.

And here I am now. Feeling guilty for my own decisions and opinions to keep my mind free and safe from stupid shit.

I didn’t want to let people ruin my fandom bubble ever again and still it happened again. I didn’t want to let people get under my skin and still it happened again.

I love everyone I’ve met in the fandom so so much and I will not leave you all behind, nor will I stop with content forever. I just need some more time to relax and sort my thought.

And even that feels like a lie.

It started with the last fandom I was in the exact same way after my work got stolen and overpainted over and over again.

„Im just taking a break“ „I am still exhausted“ „I’ll come back soon“ and I never did.

So here a little sidenote for those who think to mess with other people life’s: not only you are struggling in real life. Others do too, maybe even worse as you, maybe not. So keep your toxic behaviour out of their life when they’re not part of your issues with something / someone. You can ruin their lives too. Also gaslighting is a bad habbit that will do more harm than help to you.

I WILL come back, I want to come back! To come back and post, to create and to laugh with you all again.

I have planned to recreate the Hogtober prompt list this year, seeing how my editing skills changed over the year. I WANT to tell Alistairs and Lorys stories! I want to share their life’s so so bad.

But right now it feels like I am not wanted anymore. No one told me that, no one shares openly hate against me but since I dissapeared for almost 2 months my sick brain made me thinking that no one even care about me, what I say or what I do. I am working on this.

Also my private life is a mess right now. I stay in bed most of the time, have more downs than ups and I am hating myself for this. I want to create, I want to be there. But I can’t.

I am so so sorry if someone of my lovely bbys got hurt by my lack of contact. I will always love you, hope you know that ♥️♥️

Keep an eye out here, on TikTok and Instagram to get any updates.

Stay safe out there, protect your bubble and passions as good as you can.

Lots of love,

Lory 🧡

[thewarnerbrothers]

alright i gotta say something

you really cant do anything when you have a moderately popular blog huh

look. im a lurker at heart. i just happen to have one issue: not being able to shut up when im interested in something. thats the only reaaon this blog exists. i didnt come here to make friends, though i ended up doing that along the way

i dont want or need your pity. what i need is for people i dont know at all to stop putting me under a microscope

newsflash: i dont matter. follower count doesnt matter. at all. do you know what its like having thousands of eyes on you all the time? it sucks

i literally cant do anything

if i block literal strangers, they get mad and try to publicly shame me for it. if i try to settle disputes amicably in private, its seen as bad. if i attempt to be open and transparent with modding decisions, its bad. if i ask people to actually talk to me, they dont. instead they kick up a frenzy in private to coordinate a stupid mass hissy fit disproportionate to any perceived slight they may have endured. if i make friends, people take it personally. people see that as some sort of insult. i cannot be friends with everyone. i wont. this hurts strangers feelings, dspite me not existing for their pleasure.

some of you feel very entitled to my time. you dont own me. i dont owe you anything. ive tried to not lose the few molecules of my mind left on a regular basis because of some people who are no longer in this fandom, and some who still are. and man. i am just. tired. of everyone. all the time.

i think even more than the fact that this series was released (mainly) as a bingewatch fest, what killed this fandom was you

not necessarily you, whoever is reading this. i mean the fans. in general. some of you are so annoying, rude, inappropriate, and willfully lacking in social skills. youre over dramatic. youre moody. youre dramamongering. youre liars. youre bullies. youre self-ascribed victims. you dont care about other human beings.

youre repulsive, frankly

you are part of the reason people have been leaving the fandom in droves. the homophobia. the transphobia. the ship hate. the inability to treat other people with basic human decency. the manufactured scandals. shut up and grow up

you know why i barely interact with larger fandom anymore? ill tell you

waves of harassment to varying degrees ad nauseam

creeps who refuse to even try to keep their fetishes to themselves in private groups that include minors

abusers (most of whom are thankfully now gone)

people befriending me only to reveal that they dont actually like or care about me as a person

the most willfully socially inept people to ever exist

nosy jerks who literally cannot stand not sticking their nose in personal problems that have nothing to do with them

people treating me and my blog like im google adsense. im not a billboard guys

people deciding i am evil for no apparent reason? sdkjfalsdjfa

thinly veiled anythingphobia pretending to be socially just (hi homophobes who imply that being lgbt by nature is 'adult')

people who just make things up. all the time. just make up a lie, say it passionately enough. if you try to defend yourself, youre seen as guilty/suspicious. if you try to resolve things quietly with only those involved, you're seen as guilty/suspicious. cant win

wankers who need to learn why parasocial relationships arent actually meant to be embraced wholeheartedly

really lame one-off trolls tbh

the most fandom discourse-poisoned takes i have seen since su hatedom was at its peak

im just tired of being nice all the time? i think you guys just like taking advantage of people you imagine to be good targets

listen. i am allowed to do whatever i want, regardless of how you feel about it. the same thing goes for you. i tend to try to resolve things reasonably and rationally, but i wont pretend ive never gotten mad or overreacted or made a decision i regret. ive made that pretty known. i like to think i've grown, and ive gone out of my way to apologize to people.

however.

some of yall do not understand that just because your feelings got hurt, it doesnt mean you are deserve an apology or an explanation. sometimes it literally is just a you problem. a skill issue. you need to grow thicker skin. learn how to curate your online experience. get. over it.

lets talk about blocking, shall we?

blocking is great. i block people all the time. i block bots, i block tag spammers, i block people who make posts with rancid vibes, i block people who ive personally interacted with and no longer wish to, i block because i get tired of seeing someones posts, i block people who post things that trigger me, i block blogs with icons i dont like. there's usually no grand reason for it, aside from egregious cases where i've been harassed. its also usually not personal. i will block people who ive followed for years. i dont care. i dont know most of yall. i know i've been blocked by tons of people and that's okay! i would rather people who don't want to interact with me do that.

if you get blocked, thats it. dont attempt to contact me again unless i reach out. im not the only blog in this fandom. youll live without my posts. i am not the arbiter of all things animaney.

im just some guy

i know that the people who need to hear this most will not care nor will they actually absorb what i'm saying. ive gotten a lot of hate over the dumbest crap. im done. i think i need to stop trying to be so friendly, because some of you think being a little pissbaby is the only way to interact with others online.

cant wait til i finally explode one day and just delete everything

tldr shut up leave me alone oh my god its not that big a deal jesus christ

[11queensupreme11]

My day absolutely sucked today! Firstly my hair looked like ass than NONE of my friends in my class were there so I was a loner is my classes than I had this dutch test (I'm Dutch) but we only had 30 minutes and I really needed to do good because on my last Dutch test i had a 4,8/10. Than I had pysichs (don't know how to spell it) and that felled like 5 hours (thank god for my AirPods. I also goth two grades back both 5,5/10 for the pre exams thing I told you about. BUT my mother is really strict in my school so everything under a 6/10 she sees as failed so I was really scared to tell her about it and also the other two subject I really failed.

Than like a hour ago my mom finds out about my my grades and she got really mad (like you always got good grades when you were younger!) and than my dad also got mad so I cried (in my room hell no I'm gonna cry in front of people) and tomorrow I have another test and I'm scared to fail that one.

And the thing that gets me mad about that is that I'm almost always top of my class but they don't care about that no they only care when I do one bad thing so now if I get a bad grade myself I don't even care about it I just get scared how they will react. And than they tell because I'm so "privileged" they will take away things like my phone and tv.

Sorry for the vent I just wanted to tell all this to people I don't really know and stuff you don't have to post this I don't really care but if you do post it please tell me if I'm overreacting on the last part

you definitely were NOT overreacting in the last part. it honestly seems like ur being pressured by your parents tbh, im so sorry

also, i HATE IT when parents pull the "you always got good grades when you were a younger" bs ughhhhh

there is a VERY big difference between coursework when you were a lil kid and coursework when ur in high school or college (im assuming ur in high school?)

OF COURSE the stuff you're learning is gonna get harder as you move up a grade, OF COURSE, ur grades aren't gonna be the same as it was when you were a lil kid, WE WERE DOING BASIC MATH AND HAD LIKE, FOUR FUCKING SUBJECTS TO FOCUS ON unlike now where our math now has letters and we got 6+ subjects to study and do assignments for (on top of working or other extracurriculars we got).

it irks me so much when they start comparing your school performance from when you were a kid, cuz like duh?? ofc things are gonna change, use ur brain dumbo!!!

i am so sorry that ur stressing out over ur exams and the fact that ur parents aren't making things easier.... i hope this week passes smoothly for you and you can take a break from everything soon 💖

[ruifictiveapproved]

tw gr00ming(?) under cut

okay i hate coming to the internet for help but my autistic ass cant tell if this is weird behavior or im overreacting but whatever it is im uncomfortable

i blurred their name for privacy but im so uncomfortable and dont know what to do is this normal or??

[filenameghost]

people who support cringe culture and make fun of ppl for harmless things are so pathetic, they're awful people and i hope they all get what's coming to them.

vent below !!

my tiktok acc that i post cosplay content to and had just reached 1.5k followers on is currently banned bc someone reported me for being under the minimum age - 13. I am a whole adult.

my content was getting a lot of negative attention due to a video i posted in 2020 where i said "poggers" recently blowing up for some reason. i hate the idea that these people have gotten what they wanted, they've hurt me. i am genuinely crushed and absolutely terrified at the idea of losing the content i've put hours of work into. is this their sick form of justice? do people honestly think this is deserved? do they really think i deserve to be sobbing my eyes out so badly im on the edge of being physically sick? do they think it's fair ive been going in and out of a dissociative state for the past four hours while begging myself to just wake up from this nightmare? all because i said a word? it wasn't even a slur - hell, it wasn't even a swear word!

it might seem like an overreaction to just the chance of losing a tiktok account, but making these videos and cosplaying has been such a large passion of mine for half a decade. it lets me express myself through music and style, it lets me show off my cosplays and my acting skills, it lets me relate music to the characters i cosplay and be able to show others that.

the fact people are so cruel and unempathetic that they're willing to get someone's account banned just because that person did something "cringe" is so heartbreaking. i don't deserve this, it's not fair at all. and they're not going to face any consequences! i might have to start from scratch, i might lose hundreds of videos i spent even more hundreds of hours on, i might lose 1.5k followers. tiktok is such a hard app to get followers and reach on, it's taken me 3 years to get to 1.5k, and now i might have to start all over? honestly, if i'm unable to recover my account, i might stop creating content on tiktok at all. how could i be able to film and post while knowing i'd lost 3 years of work? i'm so fucking scared.

[kelseyfitzherbert]

so id love to put this under a read more but i haven't been here lately and my brain is mush and i forgot but i just need a place to scream

tw: cancer, depression, self hatred, loneliness, etc etc etc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im so tired. my toddler has cancer yet im the tired one. everyday is just me on autopilot until the next treatment, or doctor's visit, or body scan. when my husband isn't home, i crumble, having to handle my son alone. and he's a really good kid. but everyday is the same. and i know it's temporary, and i know i should be grateful for whatever time i have with my kid, but i'm losing me. i want to get away but have nowhere to go. i want to escape but everywhere i turn is reality. and i can't. i have a job to do here and my kid is counting on me.

but man, what i would've give for like, a four day coma.

im lonely. i feel like everyone i love pulls away from me, and it's my own doing. one example is i used to talk everyday in a group chat with my only local remaining close friends, but now it's deserted and i'm 90% sure they have a group without me. i didn't mean to pull away. things just got so busy and sometimes it's just so hard for me to even say a sentence. they tried to invite me to things at first but with my schedule so up in the air and dependent on riley, they stopped asking me. and maybe i'm stupid, and overreacting, and self sabotaging myself but i feel like almost everyone in my life is doing this now. my husband, my kid, my friends, my family. and it's so hard not to blame it on myself because....why wouldn't it be. ive done this my entire life. i push people away. i don't mean to, but i do.

i don't mean to be this way but everything in my life is so isolating right now. i don't spend any time with anyone outside my family. i have problems that get ignored. i try and speak up but it feels like im invisible. it feels like nobody wants to hang out, or spend time with me, or just talk to me about things that are normal and not my situation. my old friends don't say they miss me, or try and help me get out of this in and out day by day horror ride i'm on. sometimes it feels like nobody wants me around. and i know it's not other peoples jobs to do that. i know it's my own. i know i need to put forth a majority of the effort but i feel like i'm giving and giving and giving and giving and nobody hears me. i can't give anymore. i'm exhausted. i'm embarrassed. i'm ashamed. sometimes it feels like nobody's life would benefit from keeping me close and it's just so fucking hard right now.

because who would want to. who would want to entertain the girl whose kid has cancer and over compensates with everything else in her life to try and find a little bit of peace in such a scary, awful world. who gets too loud, too obsessive, too clingy or too annoying. i try not to but it's just hard. idk how my husband is still here. i would've left me so long ago.

i look in the mirror and i hate myself. i hate what i see. i hate who i am and only see myself as useless. i blame that on why nobody wants to be around me, and it pushes me further. i hate the way i look, and i hate it because i'm in better shape than ive been. but ive just been staring at myself today wondering what the fuck im doing wrong. im scared to be around my husband, who is the kindest person in the world. who, without him, id fall apart.

maybe im just overreacting. ive got people in my life who i love so much and i know care about me. but i can't help but fall back into that thinking of "im going to ruin this again" because it's all ive ever done. i don't want to push my friends, my family, my damn husband away. and i overcompensate that and it comes off as clingy and desperate and annoying.

i want to get back to things i love but it's hard. im trying. i still workout, i actually love going at 430am now. but other than that, i cannot get myself to do anything more than exist. i want to do things. i want to talk to people and go out and adventure and live. i want to draw and write and sing but i can't. i just can't.

im so proud of my kid. ive watched this little two year old do things with a smile on his face that would make a grown person cry. he's so brave, and i can't be that for him and i hate it.

im just tired. and if you made it this far, hey, what's up lol. sorry i just disappear and then reappear randomly upset about stuff. this blog has always been my number one safe space since 2010. it's see a lot of the shit of my life. im starting therapy again this month, which will be a shitshow. it'll be good, but it'll be a shitshow.

just...be kind. that's all i can say. be kind to people. you never know what they're going through, and sometimes a simple word can help so much.

and thank you to those who reach out. who care. i love you all. ❤️

[baldlicia]

I never said they didn’t start it. Girl go re-read my post and actually read it/// I just explain I thought you didn’t know how it started. If I sounded mad sorry but I just decided to explain situation because I saw many people confused which fandom started it

No no ur good im sorry if I came off rude definitely didn’t mean to, also I actually dug more into it, turns out the actual root of the whole drama that genuinely started it all, was unfortunately an Omar fan. Because someone decided it would be a good idea to reply under a post about Harry being the sexiest musician or some stupid shit like that, and replied with a vid of Omar saying like “Harry could never” or something along the lines of that, that���s when a bunch of Harry stans started to reply/quote that post, including the person who posted that pic of Omar at the Oscar’s using it to hate on him which is what we all believed was the root of the drama but it wasn’t. I will still say Harry fans 100% overreacted there was no reason for them to be that damn hateful, but whoever replied with that Omar vid and shit under that post about Harry was stupid asf because that’s quite literally setting Omar up to get hate.